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Writer's pictureTaneka McCoy, MSRC, LCMHC

The Best Gift You Can Give Your Child: Taking Care of Yourself

As parents, we often pour our hearts and souls into nurturing our children, striving to create a safe, loving environment. Yet, in the daily hustle, we sometimes overlook the most essential part of that equation: ourselves. Taking care of your mind, body, and spirit is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity.



Reflecting on my healing journey, I see a profound contrast between my interactions with my grandson and those I had with my sons. The energy, patience, and understanding I now bring to these relationships are transformative. I was a single parent in the early years, shouldering immense responsibility for my children’s upbringing. The constant pressure to manage school, medical appointments, behavior issues, and extracurricular activities often left me feeling overwhelmed.


I recall vividly how I reacted during those challenging moments. When my children acted out, I sometimes responded angrily, failing to recognize their behavior as developmentally appropriate. My reactions didn’t align with the situation, and I occasionally resorted to yelling or spanking. Though I provided for their basic needs and created a stable home, it pains me to acknowledge that my emotional baggage clouded my judgment, making me less of a safe place to land for them.


Through counseling, I've gained clarity. I recognized that my responses were rooted in unresolved stress and feelings of inadequacy. Burnt out and lacking effective coping skills, I struggled, and unfortunately, my children bore the consequences. However, I’ve faced my trauma and emerged transformed, more empathetic, and capable of building healthier connections.


Now, my bond with my son has blossomed. I model a healthier lifestyle, demonstrating the importance of emotional well-being. With my grandson, I can embrace our time with joy and patience, liberated from previous burdens.


As a licensed professional counselor, this journey fuels my passion to help other parents discover the importance of their healing. During my practice, I often ask, “Is the parent or caregiver receiving treatment?” This question underscores the connection between our well-being and that of our children.


The key to nurturing thriving children lies in understanding parents' emotional landscapes. With support and healing, caregivers can create the nurturing environment every child deserves. So, if you’re a parent, remember: caring for yourself is not selfish; it’s a beautiful gift to your children. Your healing journey can create a ripple effect, benefiting you and the little ones who look up to you. Embrace the process. You’re worth it, and your children are worth it too.


Look out for future changes in the direction of my client focus!

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