Self-Care Strategies for Grieving Parents

🌟 This week has been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve counseled, studied, lectured, and advised students. Yet, behind the façade of productivity, I only wanted to stay in bed and cry. Why? This week marks a bittersweet milestone: my son will have turned 29, celebrating his fifth birthday in heaven. Whew! The weight of this reality is heavy, and just when I begin to navigate the waves of grief, another tide rises—my dad’s birthday, Earl’s birthday, Thanksgiving, my grandson’s birthday, and Christmas all loom ahead.

Amid this sorrow, I also carry the responsibility of being a present mom to my living son. I can’t let my grief consume me to the point of ignoring the joy and love he needs from me. A good friend recently shared a metaphor that resonated deeply: grief is like a backpack you carry. Imagine never taking it off, but some days, it feels lighter, while others weigh you down. The truth is, most days are complex, but birthdays and holidays hit especially deep.

So how do we cope? First, acknowledge your grief. It’s okay to feel sad during the holidays. Don’t bottle up those emotions; let them flow. Talk about your loved one. Keeping their memory alive brings comfort, and writing in a grief journal can be a therapeutic outlet. Reach out to someone who understands—friends or family who have faced similar losses can offer solace.

Remember, take things one day at a time. Grief is a journey, not a race. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Nourish your body and mind with healthy meals, rest, and moments of relaxation. Lastly, do what feels right for you. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with grief; whether you seek solitude or companionship, honor your needs.

Let’s embrace our feelings, share our stories, and support one another through the beautiful mess of life and loss, all while cherishing our moments with those still here. 💖